Weigh in: 86,6 kg 😀
I know, I know, it’s barely a loss. But after the weekend I had I’m glad it’s not a gain. I started this week pretty strong. I spent a lot of time working on this blog. It still needs a lot of work, but I have a lot of ideas and half finished drafts that I might even get to this week.
My goals for this week were, besides updating the blog, to stay away from sweets and to do 3x Turbo Jam and 3x Pilates (last weeks recap). Well… I failed on all fronts. Up until Thursday I was doing good. I did some Pilates in the mornings, we went on long walks during the day. I kept putting off the Turbo Jam, I guess I just wasn’t feeling it. But then Thursday came along and from nowhere I felt so down and a bit depressed. I kept it together for another two days when it comes to eating. But when we got to my in-laws house where we spent the holidays, I kind of ate a bunch of sweets… Also I didn’t workout during the weekend (other than daily walks).
I’ve talked about this a bit in one of my Instagram posts. Lately I just get in those strange moods. I feel like I’m disconnected from the world, don’t want to do anything. Everything and everyone gets in my way. Times like that suck! And days like that suck even more when you have a 8 month old who is happy and squealing and I just can’t… I have seriously been wondering, could this still be postpartum depression? It feels like it’s a bit late. Or just, well, depression? I don’t know. And I don’t know how to proceed from this point. I don’t want to go to the doctor and have her tell me I have PMS or something… To be honest, life hasn’t been that easy lately. I feel like I look fat and gross. I am on maternity leave, but in a few months I’ll be jobless. I honestly feel like I bring nothing to this family. Sometimes I feel like I just watch the baby, like I don’t interact I just sit there and make sure he’s fed and safe. I don’t want that, I hate that! He is growing up so fast and I want to be actively present every second I spend with him.
I feel much better today, but for a few days I was lost. And I couldn’t make myself do anything, weight loss journey was the last thing on my mind. I hope that through this blog and daily updates on Instagram I can maybe discover what my triggers are.
This time I think it was just the fact that we were going to spend the weekend visiting family. We are renting an apartment in a city that’s about 2 hours from where me and my husband grew up. It’s a tiny apartment, I sometimes hate it, but for now it’s home. Both my and my husband’s parents have big houses back home. So we try and visit and spent as much time there as possible so that we can spend more time outside with the baby and that he can spend time with the family. But it’s still pretty stressful. I love my in-laws and my parents, but sometimes I just want to scream when they get smart about the baby and what not… Just yesterday I got in an argument with my mom, why isn’t the baby eating something (I don’t even remember what exactly) yet. And why we don’t ever go and visit one of her friends, our family friend. I mean seriously, I barely visit my own friends… Huh, deep breath! 🙂 I’m kind of getting off the point here. 🙂 Maybe I’ll talk more about my crazy family some other time. 🙂 As much as I was stressing about the visit I actually got to relax a bit.
I am ready to take this week head on! I’m sure I can do much better that I did this week. Let’s see if I can impress my in-laws and my parents with some visible weight loss by the time we go to visit again. 🙂
- I’ll go back to my 1 cheat meal.
- Food tracking – I’ll track all in my food diary and my FitBit and remain within my caloric limits.
- I’ll do at least 3x pilates and 3x Turbo Jam.
- Updating this blog is still a priority. 🙂